Before Love & Logic Came to Town
Once upon a time there was a little girl who always argued about wearing her coat. It was an argument before school, after school, and on the weekends. If you tried to keep up with how many times this very minor issue was repeated in this little girl’s home, you would wear yourself out. Then her mother was introduced to Love and Logic and their parenting world shifted in a major way. Instead of telling (nagging, cajoling, bribing) her daughter to put the coat on, the mother would simply suggest to check outside to see what the weather was like. Then the little girl, my daughter Lindsay, would head to the front door, step outside for a minute in her school clothes and report if it was a bring your coat, wear your coat, or no coat day.
That was about 23 years ago, when Jim Fay came to our little town of Edmond, Oklahoma and trained our teachers and parents in a new way of approaching children. My family felt so fortunate to have this experience. The Love and Logic movement in Edmond was on a big scale. Day cares, preschools, private and public schools jumped on board. It took Lindsay a little longer to catch on to the new wave of parenting, but my youngest daughter was 3 at the time, it is all she ever knew. I know teachers who swear that Love and Logic transformed their classroom. Many parents (including me) have shared that it completely changed their mindset about parenting. Did I also mention that it is fun? I don’t want to leave that part out, because parenting is the hardest job and it’s refreshing to have tools to get it right AND have fun.
In related news . . .
Shortly after the big hoopla with Jim Fay speaking to our community there was a reported robbery in one of the neighborhoods. Someone broke into a garage and stole a set of golf clubs, a six pack of beer from the garage fridge, and a Parenting with Love and Logic book that was on the front seat of the suburban. The “robber” was never caught. I’m pretty sure it was an inside job, what do you think?
What’s so great about Love and Logic?
What parents and teachers love about Love and Logic and what some kids were not necessarily fond of is that we learned how to neutralize arguments, set boundaries, and stopped rescuing kids from the consequences of their mistakes. Some kiddos liked it better when they could wait out a lecture, get an F and didn’t have to still make up work, or were bailed out by Mom or Dad. Love and Logic doesn’t play like that. For a while in Edmond, parents and teachers were on the same team—and that team was good for the kids. My children are now grown and readily share that they plan to use Love and Logic in their parenting. That is a rewarding endorsement.
Love and Logic is making a come-back!
This February there will be two opportunities for you to add Love and Logic skills to your parenting toolbox. February 10, 17, and 24th I will be co-teaching Love and Logic with my friend and colleague Kim Spears, LPC. We are presenting a three-week intensive course in the heart of Edmond, at Vault 405 on Broadway. The details are on my Classes and Retreats tab. Later in February, on February 27 there will be a “Day of Love and Logic” presented by Charles Fay in Oklahoma City. I hope that you will sign up for one of these offerings, because you deserve to have fun in your parenting journey.
I plan to keep teaching Love and Logic as long as there are still parents who are interested in learning. I’m hopeful that Love and Logic will make a big comeback in my community. Want to join the movement?
I will leave you with a “parenting pearl,” which is an experience of Love and Logic parenting that encourages us to keep up the hard work of raising our children to be responsible human beings.
One spring day in Oklahoma the weather changed radically from morning to the afternoon. As Oklahoma Springs do. Lindsay was playing outside at her aftercare program, without a coat. “Lindsay, are you cold?” her teacher asked. “Yes, but don’t worry. My mom uses Love and Logic. I’ll make sure to bring my coat tomorrow.”
Drop the mic.
Health and Happiness,
Dr. Lisa Marotta